I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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