He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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