Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Do vagina's smell?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
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