Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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