i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
