dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
