it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
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