i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
