sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
