It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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