Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
