Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize