I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Someone shattered a urinal.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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