i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
