Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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