Im at strip club and am horny
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
