i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
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