return my video game
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I need a burrito and a hug.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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