Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Never underestimate the power of titties
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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