where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
True college students do jello shots in the library
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
