yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize