i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
