I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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