She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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