It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
