I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize