The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
