OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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