Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
