Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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