Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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