We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
