He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
