SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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