Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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