I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize