If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
it was like eating out sand paper
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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