do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
