I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize