I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
