People in love make me want to vomit
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
