She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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