who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
