He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
We left the knife in your bed.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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