My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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