dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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