The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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