Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
