The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
