Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
