The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
