So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Randomize
