i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
