I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
My underwear smells like fireworks.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
