WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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