if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
