Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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