Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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