I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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