what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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