too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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