I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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