This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
