i jhust puked up my retainher.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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