Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
