I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
